Dealing with quarter-life crises

www.espikes09.blogspot.com Mid-life crisis is far off; these days, the quarter-life crisis needs to be dealt with first. (Getty Images)

Here you are, approaching your mid-20s - the best time of your life, at least that’s what everyone says. Your ‘I am independent’ claim now has the legal stamp of economics; the college campus lingers in nostalgia; ‘work hard, party harder’ is the new mantra. But the euphoria is evaporating.

The adrenaline rush leaves a hangover that seems impossible to shake off. Disillusionment looms large with a million-dollar question: What next? Welcome. You have just been hit by the quarter-life crisis.

Quarter-life what?

The transition from college to the real world sets the stage for the quarter-life crisis, hitting those in their early and mid-20s. Work, independence, new responsibilities, relationships hankering for “long-term commitment” and “meaningful” layers, all add to an anxiety not known until now.
You are going through the quarter-life crisis if you...
- Are clueless about long-term goals
- Have a constant feeling of dissatisfaction
- Are preoccupied
- Don’t enjoy your work
- Are insecure about accomplishments

But why?
“As if the anxiety to get the dream job wasn’t enough,” says 22-year-old Ujwala Salokhe, who wanted a career in TV, but settled for writing for a magazine, “this is the stage when you figure out the multiple ifs and buts in life, discover that we aren’t cut out for our jobs, leading to disillusionment.”

Start of the race
Many believe that the urge to compare (courtesy our rank driven education system) makes things worse. “Because everyone is just starting out, there’s constant monitoring of progress. This leads to pressure and takes the fun away from a new job,” cites 22-year-old Ronak Gandhi, currently pursuing CAT. Psychologist Alina Philip pins the frustration down to the nature of work youngsters grapple with. “Since they are at the bottom of the ladder, they do the maximum work and get the least credit,” she explains.

Relationships
As you approach your mid-20s, you experience the pressure to settle down. “Parents start looking for prospective partners,” says Ujwala, “You haven’t achieved much in life, but the pressure has already begun. It’s like sitting on a time bomb.” Men, on the other hand, complain of pressure to reach financial stability, like an unspoken deadline to be dealt with.

Lack of soft skills
College life prepares you from the academic perspective, but the real world initiates you into what’s needed to succeed. “The tact to deal with bosses, the maturity to handle competition and the diplomacy to deal with irritating colleagues is all new,” adds Ujwala.

Wait, listen
Don’t let this phase get the better of you. Psychologist Alina Philip tells you how to tide over the situation:

Set Milestones: Absence of short-term goals deepens anxiety. Because you start out at the bottom, everything seems far away. Break the long journey with short-term milestones. It could be acquiring skills, experience, even money. Keep the goals realistic. Seeing yourself achieve them will raise confidence. Just don’t let anyone else set milestones for you.

Calculate risks: Instead of sulking over your fresher status, make it your strength. The younger you are, the lesser you have to lose - switch careers, try other departments or acquire new skills. However, ensure you don’t go ad-hoc. Follow your heart, but let your brain structure the approach.

Get a mentor : A ‘seen-it-all’ mentor could show you different layers of a situation. Rely on him/her for reference materials and feedback.

Don’t be rigid : There’s no clause that says you must take a job that seconds your degree. Look for change. Same goes for relationships. An important lesson of adulthood: Plans fail. Move to plan B!