You think English is Easy ???

1: The bandage was wound

around the wound. 

2: The farm was used to produce produce.

 

3: The dump was so full that
it had to refuse more refuse.

 

4:We must polish the Polish furniture.

 

5: He could lead if he would get the lead out.

 

6: The soldier decided to desert his
dessert in the desert.

 

7: Since there is no time like the present,
he thought it was time to present the present.

 

8: A bass was painted on the head
of the bass drum.

 

9: When shot at, the dove,
dove into the bushes.

10: I did not object to the object. 

11:The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

 

12:There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row.

 

13:They were too close to the door to close it.

 

14:The buck does funny things when
the does are present.

 

15: A seamstress and a sewer fell down
into a sewer line.

 

16: To help with planting,
the farmer taught his sow to sow.

 

17:The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

 

18: Upon seeing the tear in the painting
I shed a tear.

 

19: I had to subject the subject
to a series of tests.

 

20: How can I intimate this to my most
intimate fried? 

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England
or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted,
but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig.
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance
be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people,
not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which,
of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out,
they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.

You lovers of the English language
might also enjoy this:

There is a two-letter word that perhaps
has more meanings than any other
two-letter word.

That is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP,
meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list,
but when we awaken in the morning,
why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it
UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room,
polish UP the silver, we warm UP
the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys
fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has
real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets,
work UP an appetite, and
think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but
to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing:
A drain must be Opened UP because
it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning
but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed-UP

about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP, look the word UP
in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary,
it takes UP almost 1/4thof the page
and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try
building UP a list of the many
Ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time,
but if you don't give UP,
you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain,
we say it is clouding UP
When the sun comes out we say
it is clearing UP .

When it rains,
it wets the earth and often
messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile,
things dry UP .

One could go on and on,
but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is Up...

so... time to shut-UP!